Greetings from Jæger

“Anyone who thinks that taking ecstasy and dancing with a bunch of teenagers out in the middle of a cow pasture is some sort of political statement… has got to be completely brain-dead.” – Steve Albini

Even when all your stars align and you have the perfect weather at the perfect location in good company with a stellar line-up, there’s always something off about outdoor music festivals. Things like camping, unwarranted queues, dirty porterloos, crappy sound, inconsistent music and short set times all play a factor in my general disdain of festivals, but in recent years its gotten even worse. I’ve realised I’m little more than some latent consumer for associated brands, preying on my enthusiasm for music to sell me something I don’t want or need.

“Big Brother is watching you” – George Orwell

It’s 1984 and big brother is owned by Unilever. There are cameras everywhere trained on stages, tents and signs trying to sell you everything from vinyl to tote bags with hashtags and billboards cropping up in the background of every social media post. Mobile phones snap, flash and record every moment as some form of delusional justification that we are all experiencing a “good time”. All those phones, documenting every little bit of everything along with cameras from various online radio and media channels.; It’s little wonder DJs like Ganacci have to make a spectacle of themselves, they are always being watched.

And then there’s the sexual harassment.

Of course there are exceptions, and this is possibly even a mark of some greater social concern; but that’s a can of worms I don’t have the energy or mental capacity to confront today. So let’s just say for argument’s sake, I don’t like festivals and I’m glad festival season is coming to a close so we can get back to the heart of it… dancing in a dark basement with a group of friends to a DJ that is there to facilitate the night and the dance floor.

Nobody listens to Techno” – Eminem

Everybody is listening to Techno. Journalists have taken to writing think pieces about it while Berghain and Tresor are the new Ramones for manufacturers of T-Shirts everywhere. Hegemony and soon entropy will take its hold as everything is distilled down to an inflexible patterned drum sequence and an atonal white noise, proffering adjectives like dark and aggressive where light and melodic textures once roamed.

I’ve seen you in your uniformed garb, a series of black silhouettes, marching in strict formation one after the other, abandoned by their hosts as you wander the cow pasture, goose stepping to the innocuous sound of a 4-4 kick. Buyer beware. You conflate Techno within the limiting parameters of a sub-genre or tags like industrial, romanticising the oppressive and the masculine in a form of a music born from the soul of a motortown.

A formula repeated infinitely becomes little more than a pervasive drone, completely devoid of character and any and all significance. In the early 2000’s Techno was tawdry and trite; something reserved for the second room of a House club on desperate occasion, abandoned by the first generation who started playing New Wave and Post Punk in Rock bars. We’re on the precipice of the same thing, and we’re a little too close to the edge, so mind the gap. Yes, Tommy Four Seven and Kenny Larkin, they’re both Techno

“Re-Consider everything.” – Surgeon

“- Consider the lilies

– He’s having a go at the flowers now.” – Monty Python

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Look to the next generation; get yourself a DJ name that’s silly, make a new genre and then immediately abandon it, make club music in your bedroom, use the systems of oppression for liberation, re-contextualise everything, pay homage to a legacy and always evolve. Listen to rock music on a Tuesday and on honor the original vanguard on Thursday. Break down barriers on a Wednesday and rebel against the weekday, have your party on a Sunday or Monday. Re-imagine the podcast, live and dance to an iconoclast. Listen to House music, don’t listen to House music, experience a new label and a new artist, leave your baggage at the door and engage in something real. Buy a record of a piece of music you like. Forget the big screen TV, fixed interest mortgage rates, leisure suits and matching luggage. Don’t take yourself too seriously… but if you have to, do it for the right reasons.

“What we stand for is resistance. We’ll always be fighting for that shit. Revolution for change.” – Jeff Mills

Look to Georgia Mr. Albini, for there lies some resistance to your sentiment. We are no longer a herd of sheep in a cow pasture, we’ve organised, and today the club might be the final frontier against the wave of a populist front currently sweeping across the world. Look to punk, but also look ahead, because somebody like Kobosil is a neu-punk, playing with a primal intensity of his guitar wielding predecessors with a focussed attention on the corporeal, propelling static bodies into motion.

“What would you call this music… Hip Hop?” – Random stranger at Melt Festival

Yes, festival season is over so let’s get on with it. Taking a brief glimpse into our crystal ball names like Dasha Rush, Gerd Janson & Prins Thomas, Reeko, Ben Sims, Midland, and Mr G spell out the immediate future at Jæger, and our residents remain the rock on which we built our house.

So greetings from us at Jæger. We look forward to our next encounter on the dance floor.

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